These are the manic ramblings that go through my head at all hours of the day or night.

 

I don’t usually tag people I don’t know specifically, but I thought bigredrobot chrishaley and comicsalliance might get a kick out of this crude hackjob I did a few years ago. The core if the idea came from realizing that Morrissey and Andrew WK are essentially mortal enemies locked on endless struggle. If only I could track down that delightful Chris Sims to pontificate on the subject…

The sad thing? As proud as I am of the concept, I feel it has yet to be fully realized. Any artist types feeling particularly moved to do a rendering? I have no money for commissioning these things, but it’s just to wonderful an idea to not have out in the open.

I don’t usually tag people I don’t know specifically, but I thought bigredrobot chrishaley and comicsalliance might get a kick out of this crude hackjob I did a few years ago. The core if the idea came from realizing that Morrissey and Andrew WK are essentially mortal enemies locked on endless struggle. If only I could track down that delightful Chris Sims to pontificate on the subject…

The sad thing? As proud as I am of the concept, I feel it has yet to be fully realized. Any artist types feeling particularly moved to do a rendering? I have no money for commissioning these things, but it’s just to wonderful an idea to not have out in the open.

A popular conspiracy theory presumes that “Inhumanity” is Marvel’s way of making Inhumans a replacement for the mutant race that is off-limits to Marvel Studios because Fox owns the X-Men rights, which actually makes a lot of sense for the cinematic universe.

Oliver Sava, AV Club

I did not think about this, but this is a brilliant theory. So much of the Big 2’s creative motivations recently have been about putting their IP ducks in a row so they can keep pumping out blockbuster thats tie neatly to what’s going on in their current continuity. It’s not a bad idea given that the easiest way to lose a potential new reader all jazzed up after seeing the new Spider-Man movie is to say “ACTUALLY, the real Spider-Man is possessed by Dr. Octopus (who is dead, btw) and is a huge douchebag. ENJOY!” I just always find it interesting to see where the strings are being pulled.

http://www.ebay.com/sch/tromafilms/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=&_trksid=p3686

Just to warn you guys: I’m selling my entire collection of PRIME 90s-era Spider-Man comics. We are talking full out Clone Saga shit, Scarlet Spider, “Identity Crisis” (where to avoid the bounty on his head, Peter Benjamin Parker took on FOUR new heroic identities, Dusk, Prodigy, Ricochet, and the Hornet), “The Final Adventure” (whose finality was later redacted), return of Norman Fucking Osborn. 

This also includes: that one time Carnage bonded with the SILVER SURFER and became “COSMIC CARNAGE;” the “Eighth Day” crossover where everyone in the Marvel U had to fight random Asgardian bad dudes; Arthur Stacy kicking ass for no real reason; FEMALE Doctor Octopus. 

srsly. u guise. Get pumped. 

Dude: ’90s Vertigo Comics Had The Gnarliest Ads

Selling a bunch of old Vertigo comics on eBay from 1993 (Sandman Mystery Theatre, for those nerdy and curious, a CRIMINALLY underrated series featuring Matt Wagner and Guy David absolutely slaying some sweet pulpy ‘20 noir), and the back of the issues totally have killer ads for Barq’s Root Beer (featuring RUB ON TATTOOS), Alice In Chains “hot new album ‘Dirt’ (available at Musicland, Tower Records, and Sam Goody),” and THE CROW.

Dude, Barq’s has bite? Alice in Chains? Sam Fucking Goody? TOWER RECORDS??? THE CROW!!! I think I have officially become an old man because EVERY SINGLE ONE of those things fills me with a bittersweet wistfulness that only makes the rest of my life feeling like a monochromatic pile of shit.

It even gets better. My collection picks up around 1997 and there are ads for Alice in Chain on MTV Unplugged, Sliders, and Spawn on HBO. Wow.

I generally believe heroism is about sacrifice. If it doesn’t cost you anything, it might as well be holding the door open, and that’s not heroism; that’s politeness. Superman saving the world is basically politeness, as far as I can see. It doesn’t cost him anything. I know that’s the opposite of the Grant Morrison position, which — I guess — is the reason I’m writing X-Men. They’ve always meant more to me than Superman. You find character by their decisions in difficult situations, and that’s the energy that drives the X-Men. Plus the belief in a future worth fighting for… I think you can look at the enormous amount of post-apocalyptic futures [in fiction] at the moment, which are fundamentally throwing your hands up in the air and giving up, and it’s indulgent. There’s an indulgence in post-apocalyptic fiction.

Kieron Gillen with a pretty awesome assessment of the X-Men.

The Bird and The Bat: Just breathe.

thebirdandthebat:

In my weekly column on Newsarama, Hey, That’s My Cape!, I talk about pretty much anything having to do with comics. This week I had to start my column with the words, “It’s a tough time to be a woman who likes superhero comics.”

I’m fortunate to know a diverse group of people whose eyes are…

Usually don’t reblog comics critique (since very little of it doesn’t reek of insecurity, nerd-rage and stupidity) but this is very succinct. Comics are retarded (stunted development retarded, not stupid retarded) when it comes to any semblance of gender sensitivity. We need to sort this shit out.

To those who only posted to bash Christians and people with opinions different from yours…grow up and get a life.

Jeff Lamb, owner of The Comic Conspiracy in Asheboro, North Carolina, responding to Grant Morrison’s statement defusing Lamb’s manufactured “GD” “controversy,” demonstrating near superhuman obliviousness to the irony of his own words and actions. (via deantrippe)

Why We Comic Book Fans are the Absolute WORST

I love comic books. More than that, I love SUPERHERO comics. You know, the arrested development stories where dudes in spandex beat the shit out of each other for 22 pages in an unending, pointless struggle with some bullshit or another. I honestly LOVE them. I’ll take Iron Man over fucking Blankets any day. There’s something invigorating about it. The violence, the high melodrama. 

But honestly, there’s a part of me that, were there to suddenly spring up a new reich and all us comic book fans were loaded into the trains and sent off for the work camps, I’d say to myself, “Yeah, we sort of had that coming.”

I finished “Supergods” by Grant Morrison a week or so ago. I liked it. I really like Morrison, not just his work but his perspective. I like where his head is at. He has a certain love and reverence for the Superhero that is exciting and charming. He is simultaneously an intellectual, psychedelic, messianic spaceman set on spiking everyone’s punch and a wide-eyed kid reading the latest issue of Green Lantern under his covers at night. He (very nearly) has the ambition and craft of Alan Moore, but without the almost compulsive need to gruffly dismiss the most popular genre as shite. He has a certain filter for pop culture that I like.

The book is a lovely read, even if its a bit light on substance and frequently new-agey nonsense. He can be occasionally too much of a smart-aleck apologist (a skill all us superhero nuts develop early and hone over the years), but he’s a creative and open minded one. 

Anyway, my favorite of his meditations was on the nature of fiction. His take (as far as I can understand it) is that nothing is real and that everything is real and that is FANTASTIC. Everything counts, even though none of it really matters, and that is EXACTLY why it is the most important thing.

He’s a metafiction guy, but not self-conciously so like Neil Gaiman (who seems obsessed with telling stories about telling stories and, at some point during the story, grabs you by the ears and goes, “HEY, DID YOU KNOW I’M TELLING YOU A STORY???”). He talks about characters as both unchanging and completely adaptable, utterly fluid. The ones that exist most sublimely in this state are the most enduring, the recognizable icons. And they cannot be broken or discarded so long as they have relevance and resonance with us as readers.

This is a really beautiful, lovely idea. It’s nuanced, encompassing, and its utterly benign. Morrison is doing God’s (himself a fictional construct) work by saying it.

But we comic book fans, the vocal majority of us, can’t seem to accept this. We can’t seem to accept and be comforted by the fact that these things we care about AREN’T REAL and THAT’S FINE. Seriously. Want an example? Bitches be tripping over the fact that Thor said “ass.” Or, even worse, how Morrison’s new, rebooted Superman said “GD” resulting in calls for boycotts.

Fraction (a disciple of Morrison) defends his right to, y’know, do his fucking job thusly:

I just did an interview on Fear Itself #5, and it’s gone from having questions to being told, now, that Thor wouldn’t say “ass.” Thor isn’t real. My Thor doesn’t talk like Stan [Lee]‘s Thor and his Thor didn’t talk like [J. Michael Straczynzki]‘s Thor, and his Thor didn’t talk like Walter [Simonson]‘s Thor. Everybody’s Thor talks differently. Also, being told that Spider-Man wouldn’t leave. Spider-Man, who has single-handedly kept the costume-shaped trash can industry afloat in the Marvel Universe. Spider-Man, who has quit numerous times. I’ve been accused of misspelling the name of a character I made up. I made it up; I can spell it however I want to. I can spell Odin with a “U” if I want to.

This is an utterly sensible response to utterly nonsensable criticism. He’s writing a character the way he sees fit. Obviously Marvel (and, a few notches up the totem pole, DISNEY) doesn’t have a problem with this or they would have shitcanned his ass. More than that, how these character would talk is a totally moot point since thy don’t talk unless WE (as creators/readers) have them say something. They are fiction.

Predictably, the comments that follow are shameful. Not shameful as much for their ignorance, but for their stubborn inability to let go. There are a few that hem and haw in the semblance of logic, usually to the effect of “I understand his logic, but he’s wrong,” but a choice bit of righteous indignation that sort of typifies the response is this:

  1. When Fraction was a kid, did he like it when other kids came to his house, broke his toys, made a giant mess and left? That is the equivalent of what he’s saying. These characters don’t belong to him. He is being given permission to play with them for a while. He needs to respect that they belong to other people.

You… You people don’t get it do you? THIS IS WHY PEOPLE THINK SUPERHEROES ARE FOR KIDS AND RETARDS. Because you stubborn fucks believe that they “belong” to anyone but the eons and that any interpretation that “rings false” can actually cheapen the stories you love and is worth getting mad about. THESE CHARACTERS AREN’T TOYS. They don’t “belong” to us, or Marvel, or Disney, or America, or ANYONE. They are sewn into the fabric of forever, always able to be thrown on in infinite iterations without ever expending their value.

STOP IT. You’re ruining it for the rest of us. Please, GROW UP. People see us obsessing over these arcane and inane “rules” and seeing profundity in the trivia and they lose respect for the genre. And frankly, THEY SHOULD. Not because the nerd archetype is innately “flawed” or because “geeking out” over something is wrong, but because we childishly believe that OUR fictional constructs somehow is exempt from the rules of popular interpretation. Being a canon aficionado isn’t a crime unless one loses track of the fact that canon exists within the endless continuum of reality and that just leads to better, more compelling art.

We are killing the thing we love by sheltering and doting on it. People see us toting around the bloated, drooling object of our affection, dressed in clothing too tight for it’s age, and they are disgusted and baffled by it. THAT is where the image of the overweight, nitpicky, slovenly nerd originates: it is potential gone stagnant. They see it reflected in the art we love and they shake their heads disapprovingly.

Please. This is a plea to any rational, reasonable people out there who love superheroes and wouldn’t mind seeing comics remain relevant: be generous and open-minded. These ideas are stronger and more pliant than you could ever imagine. Spiderman will survive being half black and half hispanic. Superman will still be superman despite utterly a polite curse-word. Thor will still be a BAMF with a hammer after saying “ass.”

comicsalliance:


Rise of ‘Anonymous’ Fuels Sales Of Time Warner’s ‘V For Vendetta’ Masks

In a New York Times piece published this week, writer Nick Bilton makes the keen observation that the cultural ascension of hacker group Anonymous has been a financial boon for Warner Bros., the media company that owns the Guy Fawkes image that protesters wear as a mask. Based on the character “V” from Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s classic graphic novel V For Vendetta (as well as the film based on the book),the Guy Fawkes mask sells over 100,000 units a year, with Warner Bros. — the parent company of comics publisher Vertigo — earning a licensing fee for each mask sold.
Read more at ComicsAlliance.

Hah. Haha. HahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAGHAHAGHDSHRSUHFGJDERHA!!!!Ahhhhh. Hah.

comicsalliance:

Rise of ‘Anonymous’ Fuels Sales Of Time Warner’s ‘V For Vendetta’ Masks

In a New York Times piece published this week, writer Nick Bilton makes the keen observation that the cultural ascension of hacker group Anonymous has been a financial boon for Warner Bros., the media company that owns the Guy Fawkes image that protesters wear as a mask. Based on the character “V” from Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s classic graphic novel V For Vendetta (as well as the film based on the book),the Guy Fawkes mask sells over 100,000 units a year, with Warner Bros. — the parent company of comics publisher Vertigo — earning a licensing fee for each mask sold.

Read more at ComicsAlliance.

Hah. Haha. HahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAGHAHAGHDSHRSUHFGJDERHA!!!!

Ahhhhh. Hah.

So apparently…

…According to the Adam McKay episode of WTF with Marc Maron (one of my absolute favorite podcasts), Adam McKay is currently rewriting the screenplay to Garth Ennis’ "The Boys", which will be going into production later next year.

In my mind, this is pretty much perfect. The Boys is such an enjoyable book, with that perfect mix of ugliness, humor and heart that Adam McKay GETS. He’s got the hollywood mojo to get it made and made without dumb compromises, plus gets the political reality of the book and I’m really looking forward to seeing his take.

Slowly and surely, Manga is just becoming yet another thing I spent my money on that scares off girls.
I picked up the first book of Detroit Metal City and enjoyed it, though I’ m not entirely sure why. The art isn’t quite there for me and while the conceit is clever, it’s definitely got that over-the-top visual drama of manga that I find grating. Still, the actual “metalness” of the book is pretty great, capturing that absurd primal sexuality, violence and “blackest of the black” bravado that guys like Danzig sew with tongues far from cheek, and that’s kind of nice about it.

Slowly and surely, Manga is just becoming yet another thing I spent my money on that scares off girls.

I picked up the first book of Detroit Metal City and enjoyed it, though I’ m not entirely sure why. The art isn’t quite there for me and while the conceit is clever, it’s definitely got that over-the-top visual drama of manga that I find grating. Still, the actual “metalness” of the book is pretty great, capturing that absurd primal sexuality, violence and “blackest of the black” bravado that guys like Danzig sew with tongues far from cheek, and that’s kind of nice about it.

Three Fingers: a Hollywood “Documentary” in Graphic Novel form

In my never-ending pursuit of new and exciting comic book stores to affix myself to, leech-like,  and try and synthesize a social life, as McGiver might make a bomb from a car radio, some twine, and chewing gum (in this case, the car radio would be played by awkward over-sharing; twine would be open dislike of other people; and chewing gum limited knowledge of relevant, relatable subjects), I returned to my favorite comic shop in Burbank, House of Secrets. Like most of my raves, it hits all the major pleasure centers for my geekiness (unbagged/boarded comics for easy reading; comics organized by publisher; great selection of trades; not real manga-heavy; unpretentious; big selection of indie comics/artist collections; totally adorable and charming countergirl).

After several days of pursuing, chatting with staff, and general loitering, I decided (in open defiance to my current situation as an unemployed, homeless loser) to pick up a graphic novel (ughhhhh, that fucking WORD) that I’d been eyeballing for days: THREE FINGERS, by Rich Koslowski (Published by the great indie publisher Top Shelf in 2002).

It had been calling to me for days as I casually looked over the gorgeous art and intriguing subject matter. As I brought it to the counter, the cashier (not my new friend and secret love Comic book Store Girl, an affection that has been trending in my life for going on a decade now) cheerfully proclaimed, “Oh, there’s some funny stuff in there.”

Having read the book, hungrily consuming page after beautiful page, I would beg to differ. True, there are a few funny moments, and it’s bare bones outline seems light, but the real heart of the book is a tale of ugliness and despair. I say this with the deepest admiration for the author and illustrator, Rich Koslowski, because instead of just being about the gloom, he’s created something both sadly beautiful and grotesque. In a way, the book is about this fundamental contrast: the ultimate tale of the darkness that lurks beneath the surface of nostalgia and slowly rises from the murky depth through the passing of time.

The book is framed (with incredible simplicity and pitch-perfect execution) like a Ken Burns documentary about the rise and fall of the career of Ricky the Rat (a Mickey Mouse surrogate). The world is similar to that of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” where “Toons” (cartoon characters and anthropomorphic “funny animals”) and Humans co-exist, but far, far darker. The book starts in the 20s and 30s, when Toon actors are consigned to ethnic ghettos and basically whitewashed out of the entertainment industry. An enterprising Dizzy Walters (Walt Disney, for those keeping up), discovering Ricky playing piano on the Toon vaudeville circuit and the two form a theatrical partnership which results in Ricky rocketing to stardom, all told via talking-head style testimonials by fellow Toon actors and film historians many years after the fact.

The real push of the “documentary” is less about Ricky and his fame, and more about fellow unemployed Toons trying to follow in his footsteps and finding the barrier to be insurmountable. This turns many Toons to a disturbing, bizarre form of self mutilation called “The Ritual” wherein one of their fingers is removed to emulate Ricky’s three fingered hand. 

It truly is an astonishing work. The character designs and illustrations are great, seamlessly transitioning from grainy, old time photographs to bubbly, rounded cartoons, to the sagging, grim deformity of age.

My only qualms with it is that the book is a slim little thing and that the creative potential of the work remains pretty much untapped. The world Koslowski creates is so vivid and enthralling that I can’t help but want more. Still, I suppose it speaks to the artists modesty (or simple cleverness) that he gives just a peak into this world, framed through the lens of this tragedy.

Can NOT recommend this enough. Go buy it!

Remember the twist I mentioned at the beginning of this conversation, this is what I was talking about. MJ unknowingly beat Mephisto at his own game. By agreeing to MJ’s terms, Mephisto has actually wiped himself from ever having been involved in their lives. In fact, looking at it linearly, those four issues never happened. Along with the wedding, “One More Day” and Mephisto have been wiped out of continuity and Peter and MJ never made that bargain.

Ooooooh, me hears something breaking.

Joe Quesada on the secret brilliance of “One Moment In Time” and “One More Day.”

OK, Joe, I need to be square with you: I hope one day to work for ya or Marvel. I confess, like a large number of the fans, I didn’t quite care much for OMD, for reasons that I’m going to not get into here. Still, Brand New Day has been handled well you guys have proven your point admirably: Spiderman doesn’t need to be married to tell great stories (I might add that he doesn’t need to be SINGLE either to tell the stories you told, but I might just be being contrary).

Now, I read OMIT and I have to say, I didn’t much care for it. Not because there was anything outright wrong with it, it just seemed… redundant. Explaining the mechanics of an event that was unsatisfying. It just didn’t seem relevant. Still, you’re the EIC, you tell the stories that you think we as fans need to read.

My word of advice though: don’t bait the fans and don’t be self-congratulatory. You got a lot of good will by old-fashioned hard work post OMD and I think most of the readers who were irked by it were happy to get passed it with decent stories and art. All this picking at the sweater that is OMD is uncomfortable and irritating. It was an idea, you implemented to some effect, LEAVE IT THERE. You don’t need to (and in fact, CAN’T) prove to the haters that they should thank you for hat you consider a well-crafted storyline that they simply don’t like. Haters gonna hate. 

My Thought's on this Whole "Donal Glover as Spiderman" thing:

Quick Rundown: there was kind of a joke twitter campaign to have Community’s Donald Glover play Spiderman in the upcoming reboot. The issue? Donald Glover looks like this:

and Peter Parker, up until this point, has been drawn to look pretty much like this:

Cue nerds FLIPPING THEIR SHIT.  

I love this whole thing so much. It’s kind of great see people, mopping the proverbial sweat off their brow, trying to defend their covert racism by insisting that their issue is that the character wouldn’t be followed “faithfully” if he was black.

Hey, racists: IT’S A TOTALLY ARBITRARY LINE. What is being “faithful” to the character? What defines Spiderman? Is it him wearing glasses? Is it him having an aunt named May? Is it him wearing the same exact silly vest that Steve Ditko drew on him back in the 60s? It is him talking about how much he loves Aunt May’s wheatcakes?

The fact of the matter is, there are all sorts of things done to update or revise or reinterpret a character, issue to issue, year to year, and maybe 90% of them go unobjected to because they are all seen as honoring the core sensibility of what we perceive “Spiderman” to be. The character of Spiderman/Peter Parker is not EXACTLY the same character that appeared in Amazing Fantasy 15, for better or for worse. Things change, big things. He got married. He got unmarried. He AGED. 

Why aren’t we up in arms that he’s being played by ANYONE, not say animated, or even just left alone as a comic? Sure this is not a dramatic leap (you can argue that comics are a representational media and meant to represent reality in some way), but baggage may have shifted during the flight.

And every comic fan who cares enough about the character to have opinions about his interpretation at some point draws a line in the sand and says, “These are things I think are important about Spiderman. Change them, and I don’t consider it, at heart, Spiderman.”

I’m not trying to get people back down. I just want them to admit that their understanding of the character is that Spiderman MUST BE WHITE and that this is what makes them uncomfortable about the whole Donald Glover thing.  It is because a black man would play a character they feel MUST BE WHITE. 

Donald Glover said a great thing about the whole incident. I’m paraphrasing, but it was along the lines of, “Spiderman’s a kid growing up poor, in Queens, no parents, taken care of by a sickly aunt, an’t he’s supposed to be WHITE? That’s kind of ridiculous.” He’s 100% right. All of those things (to this humble fanboy) ARE the essence of the character, and NONE of them are white exclusive. 

What he touches on, in fact, is more interesting: whether we like it or not, all of those things are actually more believable as part of the BLACK experience (at least from a modern perspective). As a former NYC native, I can attest to the fact that Queens has changed quite a bit since Stan Lee’s day (if it was ever that way at all, and not just the product of media whitewashing) and seeing a black (or latino, or korean) take on the character is, frankly, more believable from a modern perspective. 

Then again, this is all assuming that the consensus is that him being young, poor, in Queens, no parents, taken care of by a sickly aunt are what defines him. Maybe they aren’t. Maybe it’s just about a kid slinging webs. Maybe it’s the costume. Maybe it’s the storyline “Kraven’s Last Hunt.”

The point i’m making is that IT’S ALL SO INCREDIBLY ARBITRARY. We can argue until judgment day, but it’s all subjective. And that subjectivity, if leading you to a conclusion that, indeed, SPIDERMAN MUST BE WHITE (because so-and-so drew him that way, because he’s “always” been white) that is, indisputably, a RACIST and arbitrary assertion. So yeah. Enjoy that.