These are the manic ramblings that go through my head at all hours of the day or night.


Let’s clear something up: I love the Misfits. Most eras of the Misfits work for me. “She” era proto-Misfits where they’re basically a noise-oriented poto-punk Doors rip off? Great. Static Age grunge-ghoul? Very nice. Full out halloween punk? My favorite. Earth AD hardcore? Why not? Even after that, I love them. Hell, I’ll defend Graves-era Misfits any day.

The Jerry Only and the punk-rock-hasbeens (to steal a phrase from a friend) era? Really rough. It’s hard to like. Only can’t sing AT ALL. Say what you will about Graves live (that Evilive II record is hard to listen to), the dude could sing on record. Only can shout. And not cool, hardcore-leaning shouting. Like, your Uncle is drunk at Christmas and is yelling about how the mexicans are taking over his neighborhood.

Plus they just look RIDICULOUS. And honestly, coming from a Misfits fan, that is a serious indictment. Only has it the most together out of all of them, having refined his long-time look into something that conceals his rapidly expanding gut, but wearing your own band’s shirt? That’s bad, Only. Duran Duran wouldn’t do that.

AND WHAT IS WITH THE EXPOSED BOOB PANELS ON CHUPACABRA? Also, Chupacabra? Who the fuck is that twitchy weirdo? 

Dez is the one who makes me the most sad. Dez was the one with perhaps the most punk rock credibility. Now, they give him the silliest ghoul makeup (the theme of which is… old man?) and stuff him into a ridiculous leather coat, only highlighting the fact that he’s old and fat.

The makeup, the clothing: it’s worse than a saturday morning cartoon version of a once credible band. Its been exaggerated to the point where its no longer representational of anything. It’s ritual divorced from meaning. The back smears under the eyes that Only has? Didn’t it used to be to make him look ghoulish and hollowed out? Now it just looks like a demented mascara accident. 

Look, I know I should expect much from Only and the marketing machine, it just makes me sad, y’know? They’re basically a bunch of Italian guys from New Jersey playing dress up. Hearing them talk is just the worst. There’s no heart in it. With Glenn, you KNOW that dude goes home and sits on a throne of skulls and drinks from a goblet or something.